


Redemption Extras

by Scotch



Series: Redemption [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotch/pseuds/Scotch
Summary: A small collection of extra things I wrote mostly for myself when developing the environment and backstory of the Redemption series.  I thought some readers might be interested in some of it.  You'll find things that are, and were not included in the main story.  It's mostly notes on the characters, and some short bits of story, etc.THIS IS FULL OF SPOILERS FOR THE REDEMPTION SERIES.  I would encourage you to read the story first, but that's up to you.  :3





	1. Spica's Journal

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor am I making any sort of profit from this.
> 
> So far this will contain these items (some won't be released until the story is updated to avoid spoilers):  
> \- Harry's list of reasons Draco is worth it  
> \- Maggie's playlist for Draco  
> \- Spica's journal  
> \- Draco's journal for Healer Leavitt  
> \- Lucius' journal for Healer Leavitt  
> \- The Healer's Oath and Code of Ethics  
> \- Draco's St. Mungo's observation notes  
> \- The Reaper's Folly Tenets
> 
> I'll probably be adding more, as I continue to work on this

May 12, 1352

I despise it here. The manor is a prison. My cage may have gilded bars, but it is no less a cage. As for myself, sometimes I wonder if Nicholas even sees me as a living being. Am I his wife, or am I merely a possession? Perhaps I am simply another relic to be squirreled away and left on display, covered in dust, in these dreary halls. I've decided to write my thoughts. I have little else to do with my time, other than wander the manor grounds where Nicholas permits me to go.

It's been almost two years since the 'plague' took the the village to the north. While I do not condone Nicholas' actions, I will never find it myself to forgive them for the murder of my daughter, and only child. Barely a woman, and my beloved Lyra was put to the flame just before her sixteenth birthday. We always warned her to stay away from the muggles, but a group of men from the village saw her practicing charms in the woods one day. I never saw her again; she did not come home that night. Nicholas and I searched the woods, but did not find her. I saw the Grim, though. Just as the sun rose it howled and bowed its head to me. By the time I heard Lyra's screams, it was too late. The 'Plague' took the whole village shortly after. By the end of the month, they were all dead aside from a family that lived on a farm nearby. I remember watching the flames, visible from the tower at the manor. As Nicholas so graciously 'helped' that family burn the remaining bodies and the rest of the village to the ground. Only the stone church remains.

With Lyra, our only child, gone there is no one to carry on the Malfoy name. I fear what Nicholas will do if I am unable to give him another child. He is not a kind man, and takes what he pleases – in any context. I wish my father were still living, so I could throttle the life out him for marrying me off to this soulless monster.

May 15, 1352

I want to die. I see the Grim often, the one that guards the abandoned ruins of the church. Why won't it take me? Better that than to endure Nicholas' abuse. We must have another child, he says. He cannot let the Malfoy name die with him, he insists – as he takes me whenever he pleases in hopes to conceive a new heir. We had tried without faltering for years after Lyra's birth to have a male child as Nicholas wanted a son – not his brilliant, beautiful daughter. All those years we never conceived a child, so why now does he think we can? One of us must be impotent. I almost hope he would cast me aside in favor of a younger woman who can give him a child. Well, honestly I dare not think of what he would do to me if he were take another wife. No one would miss me; I have not been allowed to leave the estate since the wedding.

Please God, if there _is_ a God. Let me die, but not by his hand. I am so tired of the feel of his hands on me.

May 20, 1352

Nicholas is in Suffolk. He will be there about a week. There's a Grim that's been terrifying the folk there, and he was called in to deal with it. I hope it deals with him. If it doesn't at least I have some time to myself, and nothing to stop me from leaving the manor. I've missed walking in the woods in the morning. It will be nice to watch the sun rise from the meadow near the village. Or, what is left of the village.

May 21, 1352

I met the owner of the farmstead, today. He is a handsome man with a warm smile and blonde hair so pale it's almost the color of snow. He reminds me of my older brother. He lost his wife and two children to the 'plague'. Why did Nicholas do this? The farmstead family had nothing to do with Lyra's death, and they have always been good to us.

His name is Thomas. He lives alone now, and the farm is overgrown. Some cattle roam freely, but he cannot work the land all by himself. He is planning to pack his things and join his brother in Yorkshire. I hope he manages it, before Nicholas decides to bury him as well – despite how respectfully he spoke of his 'benevolent' landlord. Thomas is a kind man, who so far has treated me with respect. It has been so long since I've spoken with anyone but Nicholas. I forgot what it felt like to have a conversation without being belittled or ignored.

May 22, 1352

I met with Thomas again today, after receiving an owl from Nicholas. He will be in Suffolk for a few more days. The Grim is giving him trouble, apparently. I still hope it kills him.

Thomas brought to me to a garden his wife loved before she died. It is beautiful there, and full of all sorts of flowers that are in full bloom. He offered me a simple gold necklace, and asked if I would make the journey to Yorkshire with him. He fell in love with me at first sight, he said. He knows that I live at the Manor, but not that I am the Lord's wife. I no longer wear my wedding band; Nicholas has not even noticed. I threw it in the courtyard pond some time ago after he bedded me against my will for the, well, I have lost count of how many times it has been. I want to go with Thomas, truly I do. However, I know that no matter where I go Nicholas will find me and drag me back here.

May 24, 1352

I saw the Grim again this morning on my way to visit Thomas. It sat in the spot where the village gate once stood and stared at me as I passed. As usual, I ignored it. What does it want with me? Clearly not to kill me, or I would already be dead.

Thomas and I had tea near the river. There is a small waterfall there, and the sound of it is soothing. I wish I could hear it in the manor when I lie down to sleep. I must treasure these moments, for Nicholas will be home soon. I've set up a ward that will alert me when he reaches the estate. I should have enough to make it back before he does in case I am not there when he returns.

May 25, 1352

Against my better judgment, I have lain with Thomas – with a muggle, and a poor one at that. I want to say that it was out of love, but I know better. It was an act of rebellion, to remind myself that I still am that – myself. That am I still a person, that I can still feel. How long has it been since I felt anything other than hopelessness and contempt? It does not matter. Thomas leaves tomorrow for Yorkshire, everything he owns packed on a small wooden cart pulled by a pair of cattle. And Nicholas, he should be returning any time now.

May 30, 1352

I received a letter from the Suffolk Aurors by owl this morning. The Grim killed Nicholas. Dragged him into the burning wreckage of the church it is buried beneath and held him there as he burned to death. Like our daughter. I feel no grief, only as though a great weight has been lifted. The estate is mine now, and my life my own again. I will not remarry, though perhaps I will adopt a pure-blood child to keep the muggles from claiming the manor when I pass.

June 10, 1352

The Grim visits the manor now. It paces the courtyard at night, and once I swear I saw it sitting in the drawing room warming itself by the fire. 'Tis strange, but I do not think it means me any harm.

June 15, 1352

I have not been feeling very well lately. The Grim stalks my every move, but it does not unnerve me anymore. It sits beside my chair while I knit next the fireplace in the drawing room, like a faithful hound. Have a I taken ill? Is it waiting for me to pass?

June 20, 1352

I have just returned from town. I decided to see a healer about my recent spells of nausea. I am with child. How did I not notice? And whose child? Thomas' or Nicholas'?

February 18, 1353

I have not written in some time. I have spent most of these last nine months either too ill to leave my bed, or in Wiltshire proper arguing with the Muggle nobles to keep the Malfoy estate in my hands. A woman cannot own land, they tell me. If my child will be a boy, he may claim the inheritance. That much I have managed. And it is a boy. He was born just after midnight, and his name is Orion Cygnus Malfoy. Though, and it is a secret I will take to my grave, he is not Nicholas' child. His eyes are a pale grey, like early morning rain – just like Thomas', and not like the deep brown that Nicholas' were. His hair, too, is blonde – almost white. Mine is the color of copper, and Nicholas' was as black the Grim's fur.

Speaking of the Grim, he sat beside my bed all the time I was labor. I do not think the others can see him, not the midwife or any of the manor staff.

I do not know what the future has in store for this child. Will he be a wizard, like all the generations before me? Or a muggle, with no magic to speak of?

February 20, 1353

Something is wrong. I am feverish and the pain from giving birth has not lessened. I lay here holding my son, and I wonder if I will live to see him grow. The Grim never leaves my side now. In a fit of rage, I shouted at it – asking why it took my daughter's life, because surely it at least was the herald of her passing.

It still does not leave my side.

February 21, 1353

I am coughing up blood. I am dying. I suppose it is fitting that this is how I should die, my life extinguished by the product of my indiscretion. I cannot blame Orion, though. He is a healthy, happy little boy who smiles and giggles as I hold him in my arms. I wish I could be here in this world long enough to see the man he will grow into.

February 22, 1353

I had a dream last night, of the Grim – and of Lyra. She was in the pyre, screaming in pain and terror as the men watched on. The Grim came out of nowhere, and bowled over two of them. The others, knowing it for what it was, ran in terror. The ones who didn't run, it shredded with its claws. It then dragged my dying daughter out of the fire and laid down on the ground beside her, cradling her head with its body. It growled at the village priest who tried to approach with a torch, and the men fell dead on the spot. When Lyra drew her last, shaking breath, it howled. I knew, even in the dream, that it was the howl that I heard on morning that she died. It wasn't a howl of victory, it was a cry of despair. The Grim had protected her. But why? Were they not meant to destroy our kind, to keep muggles 'sacred' places free of us? Or, like many workings of magic that muggles attempt, does it have a will of its own because they cannot control such powers? Grims are meant to hunt the wicked and defend the good, so did it recognize that my daughter was a good soul?

I think it did protect her, when there was no else to hold her as she lay dying. Is that why it's here now, with me? So that I will not have to die alone? I asked it this, and it nodded its head.

February 23, 1353

I woke up coughing this morning. There is blood everywhere. Everywhere. I have not eaten in two days. I am in too much pain to describe. The Grim is laying across the bottom of my bed now, its head resting on my hip. Visible only to me. Is it time, I asked it. It nodded. Just let me finish writing this, I told it. So I shall.

I will hide this journal where no one will find it, at least not while I live. I thought of burning it, but I don't want the truth to be buried with me. Not forever. It is better that Orion never knows the truth. I will kiss his forehead, and tell him goodbye. Then I will sit in my chair in by the fire and close my eyes.

To anyone who may read this after my passing, know that the Grim of the manor church, Darkfoot as I have taken to calling him, is not an evil being. He has been my constant companion during the darkest time of my life, and comforted me when no one else would. I asked him to look after my son, and all of his sons and daughters until the children of Malfoy no longer live on this land, and he nodded his head.

 


	2. Maggie's Playlist for Draco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that story takes place around 2007, and Maggie grew up as a muggle. Yay! 90's kid music! ...And some a bit older and from the early 2000's.

Stop – Spice Girls

Say You'll be There – Spice Girls

Never Give Up on the Good Times – Spice Girls

The name of the Game – ABBA

Chiquitita – ABBA

A Neverending Dream – Cascada

Ready for Love - Cascada

Measure Of A Man – Clay Aiken

This I Promise You – 'N Sync

As Long As You Love Me – Backstreet Boys

Last Night You Saved My Life – Backstreet Boys

Sometimes – Britney Spears

Basket Case – Green Day

Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day

Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day

The Middle – Jimmy Eat World

Let it Happen – Jimmy Eat World

Chase This Light – Jimmy Eat World

I'm With You – Avril Lavigne

Things I'll Never Say – Avril Lavigne

Keep Holding On – Avril Lavigne


	3. Harry's List of Reasons that Draco is Worth it

**Reasons Draco is worth it #1:** He makes me happy.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #2:** He has a good heart, no matter how mean he pretends to be.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #3:** Kissing him is the best feeling on earth.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #4:** He saved my life. Twice.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #5** : I don't have nightmares when he sleeps with me.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #6:** He sometimes makes mistakes, but he always does the right thing in the end.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #7:** He never gives up.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #8:** He made me realize that 'home' can be a person, and not a place.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #9:** He would do anything to protect the ones he loves.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #10:** He isn't the best at expressing it, but I know that he loves unconditionally.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #11:** He's fucking hot, okay?

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #12:** I would probably starve without him.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #13:** He could change the world if he set his mind to it.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #14:** When proven wrong, no matter how rarely it happens, he always learns something from it.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #15:** He's going to be the best Healer ever someday.

 **Reasons Draco is worth it #16:** He gave me a reason to enjoy life again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Original Character Notes

**Loxley Academy Staff**

**Sean Martin** (Age 39, Hufflepuff)

\- Headmaster of Loxley academy

\- A ginger Irish man, with very pale skin and curly red hair. Looks like a Weasley, but isn't related in any way. He has a cheerful and outgoing personality, but seems a bit awkward.

 

 **Emily Fairfax** (Age 42, Gryffindor)

\- Professor of Charms, first year guidance councilor. Often volunteers to help with special spell damage and trauma patients at St. Mungo's.

\- A thin, willowy woman with grey streaked chestnut hair that she normally wears in a braid or bun. She is down to earth and very stern with her students, but she is selfless to a fault.

 

 **Jeanette Merryweather** (Age 64, Ravenclaw)

\- Potions Master, and second year guidance councilor.

\- A tall, heavyset woman with broad shoulders and curly grey hair. Often wears a hooded black cloak. She is often seen as intimidating based on her appearance and her method of teaching, however she is actually a gentle soul and cares for abused magical creatures in her spare time.

 

 **Taranjeet Singh** (Age 48, Ravenclaw)

\- Professor of Herbology, third year guidance councilor.

\- A muscular Punjabi man with tan skin and green eyes. While he dresses in Sikh style clothing including a turban, he does wear Loxley's colors (mint and emerald green). He is a very selfless person who will do anything to help someone in need. There literally isn't a single mean or vengeful bone in his body.

\- **Note:** He's Draco's favorite professor.

 

 **Bradley Leavitt** (Age 51, He's a squib but would be a Hufflepuff)

\- Teaches advanced classes for mind healers, fourth year guidance councilor. Sees patients at his office in muggle London on weekends.

\- A man of average height and build with greying hair and silver glasses. Prefers formal and professional style muggle clothing in neutral colors. He is calm, with unshakable patience and a fatherly nature.

 

 **Maxwell Harper** (Age 25, Slytherin)

\- Loxley Academy Librarian.

\- A very short, feminine young man with long black hair. He wears a patch over his left eye which he lost while fighting death eaters during the battle at Hogwarts. He is generally well-mannered and has a good sense of humor, but he is merciless to anyone mistreats the library books.

 

**Others:**

**Magdelena (Maggie) Marcel** (Age 25, Pukwudgie)

\- Draco's study partner, ex-wand registration file clerk for MACUSA.

\- She is very short (about 4 feet), slightly overweight but well-proportioned, covered in freckles, and has long frizzy auburn hair. She wears tortoiseshell glasses, and prefers muggle clothes. Maggie has a crude sense of humor, and swears like a sailor, but she is very perceptive and always aware of her surroundings. She is a very powerful legilimens.

 

 **Jacob Brown** (Age 19, He's a muggle but he'd be a Hufflepuff)

\- The Barista who works overnights at the Calico Rose.

\- A lanky young man with unruly brown hair and glasses. He's always reading fantasy novels, and assumes Draco and Maggie are planning a Dungeons and Dragons campaign when they're working on homework in the cafe. He's clueless, but his heart is in the right place.

 


	5. Draco's Journal for Healer Leavitt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff written in plain text is Draco's thoughts and opinions. Stuff in italics is Healer Leavitt's written responses. There are references to some minor things that never happened in Reaper's Folly. I wrote this mostly as a way to help get into Draco's head.

I still think this is moronic, and Fairfax is daft for making me do it. I fail to see how talking in circles about how much of a mess I am is supposed to fix anything. But, I want to get this over with so I'll play nicely. Believe it or not, I don't generally enjoy making things harder simply to spite myself.

You asked me to think about how I felt with Harry. Mostly, I feel safe with him. He doesn't force me to do anything that I am not comfortable with. I am calm and relaxed when I spend time with him, and this is significant because I am in a constant state of anxiety when I'm alone. I am afraid that he will run of patience for me, though, if I continue to be unable to give him what he wants sexually.

* * *

_It's okay to take things at a slower pace. It's normal to be nervous simply based on lack of experience, even without your underlying anxiety. Tell him how you feel. Communication is very important. Once again, I recommend bringing him to therapy with you sometimes. Especially if you feel calm in presence._

* * *

 I had that nightmare again – about the room of requirement. I woke up screaming and barely made it to class. I spent most of the morning between crying on Harry's shoulder and staring at the kitchen table trying to remember how to breathe. It doesn't help that I see Greg on a regular basis. He means well, but I try to avoid him. I know he blames me for what happened – for not being able to save Vincent. I think I could have, if I hadn't panicked.

Maybe I shouldn't have saved Maggie. I think she hates me for it. The paralysis, thank Merlin, is only temporary. But, there's plenty of other permanent damage that's going to make life hard for her. She doesn't smile anymore.

I absolutely loathe staying at the Weasley's. It's too loud, crowded, and disorganized. Ginny despises me, Molly is indifferent, and George is absolutely insufferable. The others don't seem to mind me being there, at least. Percy even helped me with my homework the other night.

* * *

  _Don't think about 'could haves' and 'would haves'. The past can't be changed, but you can learn valuable lessons from it. Also, never regret saving a life. You are a healer; it's your job._

_As far as the Weasleys are concerned, you're probably making assumptions based on your social anxiety. You are overly critical of yourself. Because you see yourself in such a negative light, you overlook others' acceptance and focus on rejection that probably doesn't exist._

* * *

 Yes, I'm helping Weasley go after the Folly. I know you said I shouldn't. You probably knew I would do it anyway. I don't think I can live with myself if I stay out of it.

Maggie says that she can see a difference in me since I've started seeing you. I can't imagine what she's talking about. I don't feel any different. I may have admitted that I need help, but I still think this is pointless.

I've been having nightmares again lately. I don't think it really has anything to do with tracking the Folly. We haven't really found anything yet. I am under a ridiculous amount of stress trying to do both mine and Maggie's classwork. She should be able to go to class again Monday. Thank fuck.

I think I'm getting worse when it comes to Harry. In the past, at least I tried to get somewhere with him. Now, I will think of any excuse to avoid so much as talking about it. I barely touch him. I think maybe I'm afraid. ...But I can't imagine why.

My father asked me to forgive him. Why would he think that I ever would? And how dare he ask that of me? I can't. Just talking to him makes my skin crawl. It almost would be easier if he had taken his cane to me himself.

* * *

  _You can forgive him, Draco. You choose not to. Start smaller. If you deserved a second chance, so does he. Regardless, none of that will matter if you refuse to let him try to make amends with you._

_You don't like feeling vulnerable, and you need to be in control. It seems to me that you associate trust with weakness. Intimacy requires a great deal of trust. I believe it's that you are afraid of, not the act itself. You would rather retreat to safety than risk being hurt – no matter how small that risk is._

_Both of you appear to have dominant personalities, which complicates it slightly. Harry trusts more easily than you, however like you he also prefers to be in control of any given situation – which is what makes intimacy confusing for both of you. You need to find the middle ground, as neither of you are going to be content with being exclusively submissive._

* * *

 I don't want to take things slowly. I think I'm ready, but Harry's being a complete pain in the arse about it.

I did something really stupid. I am not okay. I don't want to talk about it.

(A few lines of furiously scribbled out writing)

I did it. I finally fucking did it!


	6. Lucius' Journal for Healer Leavitt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff written in plain text is Lucius' thoughts and opinions. Stuff in italics is Healer Leavitt's written responses.
> 
> Also, Leavitt is blunt and sometimes an arsehole with Lucius because it's the only thing that gets through to him. It's not like dealing with Draco who requires a more gentle approach.
> 
> This a bit longer than Draco's mostly because I wasn't sure how to approach Lucius' character. He's the absolute opposite of everything I am, so figuring out how to write him took a little more effort.

This is absolutely pointless. Did Azkaban mess with my head? Most definitely. Am I willing to discuss it? Absolutely not. I do not see what you, or the fools at the ministry, hope to accomplish with this nonsense. It will not change the past, nor mold me into a perfect citizen. You are, however, welcome to try.

* * *

 

_What you make of this is up to you, Lucius._

* * *

 

I do not see why I am the problem. I find it laughable that I am at the mercy of a bloody squib. This journal serves about as much purpose as a disabled house elf.

* * *

 

_Being obstinate will only make this harder for you. Try writing about your thoughts in regards to your family, your experiences while serving Voldemort, how you passed the time in Azkaban, etc._

* * *

 

The only legacy I will leave behind is that of a fool who made all the wrong choices. I made my bed, and I will lie in it. I have no desire to seek redemption like Draco and Narcissa. I am disappointed in Draco, but he is an adult and capable of making his own poor decisions on who to share a bed with. Narcissa is a nagging harpy who appears to have forgotten what it means to be a pure-blood. I don't want to talk about Voldemort or Azkaban. I want to forget it. All of it.

* * *

 

_Draco lives in a world that will judge him harshly no matter what path he chooses, so he picked the one that makes him the happiest. That takes more strength than you know, probably more than he knows. You should think about what makes you happy and learn from his example. Narcissa, it seems, had the courage to change her ways when she learned that she had seen the world in the wrong light. It's never to late to open your mind to new ideas, and at the worst you will always learn from your mistakes._

_No matter how you try, you will never forget. And, if you allow yourself to forget, what's to stop you from making the same mistakes all over again?_

* * *

 

I want Draco to be happy, but I am heartbroken to think that a bloodline as old as ours will end with my son. Somehow, I always knew it would be that way. He never had any interest in a proper marriage, and he was absolutely obsessed with Potter from the moment he met him. They hated each other other. I never imagined this. His preference for men however, was not a surprise in the slightest. I wish I could understand where I failed him as a parent.

* * *

 

_You failed him as a parent when you stopped loving him for who is, while you were too busy lamenting about who he isn't. You can make amends with him, but only if you're sincere. That means accepting him as he is, without any desire to change him. Your bloodline doesn't have to end with him because he's gay, you know that. And even if it does, blood isn't everything. The fault here lies with you for loving the idea of who your son should be, and not who he is._

* * *

 

Draco will never forgive me. I stood there and watched while Voldemort tortured him. I did _nothing_. Why? Because I was terrified. I knew he wouldn't kill Draco, but I never could really be sure of that. I only forced him to become a death eater because I thought it might keep him alive if he was on the right side when it came down to the line. But what did he do? He got three of our own killed, when hexed one of them instead of the Aurors attacking them. He failed  repeatedly to kill Albus Dumbledore – not because he wasn't able to, but because he isn't a killer. It's not in his nature. Oh, and he lied to Voldemort about Potter's resources and skills on several occasions, and about Potter's very presence in our manor. What was I to do? Justify my son's blatantly traitorous actions to the Dark Lord? No. I watched, and prayed, that he would come to his senses and think more about self preservation than doing what was right.

* * *

 

_ You let Greyback take you to protect him. It seems to me that you did the best you could with the situation as it was, though  allowing Draco to be tortured was cowardly  and selfish . How many  children died fighting  he who must not be named ? Yet you, a grown man, were afraid to stand up to him to protect your own child.  _

_ Your problem, Lucius, is that you  never take responsibility for your own actions. You place the blame anywhere else, and upon anyone else. It's time you  started  holding yourself accountable for your choices, and accepting the consequences of them.  Also, you need to remember that you are  not without fault. While confidence is a good trait to have, narcissism is counterproductive. _

* * *

 

I am not a fucking narcissist, and I will not will be called a coward by the likes of you.

* * *

 

_Yes, you absolutely are a “fucking narcissist” - the textbook definition of one, actually. I did not say that you are a coward, Lucius, your actions however are, and always serve your best interests above all else. You never think of how your choices effect others, only yourself. Being a parent means thinking of your children first, and yourself second. You are unable to do that, and it drove a wedge between you and Draco._

_ The reason this is so hard for you, is because you hold yourself in too high of a regard to admit that there is anything at all wrong with your choices, or your way of thinking.  Instead, you feel that everyone around you is to blame.  Take a moment, and imagine yourself as Draco or Narcissa might see you. Do you see someone you  can be proud of? _

* * *

 

Thinking of it like that, I suppose I can understand Draco's resentment – and Cissy's indifference.

Narcissa never wanted to marry me. Our parents arranged it. I gave her everything material that she could ever want, so I never did understand why she never seemed entirely grateful. She always tolerated me, but never seemed to actually love me. I suppose her lot in life could have been worse, considering pure-blood traditions concerning marriage. Being betrothed to me was perhaps better than being trapped with someone who might have abused her. I assume she simply resigned herself to her fate, and made the best of it. That must be why she never argues with me, yet never seemed happy, either.

Draco is somewhat more complicated. I had high expectations for him, that he genuinely tried his best to live up to. His marks were excellent, though Granger was the top of his year – which I never forgave him for. How could he possibly be bested by a mudblood? I never thought to ask if he needed help. Maybe I would have noticed years ago that he struggled so much with anxiety, that perhaps manifested because of how I treated him. Now that I know, I look back and wonder how I didn't see the signs. No, that's not right. I knew, I simply chose to ignore it because he should have been better than that. The standards I expected him to live up to were unrealistic, but being my son I thought he should have exceeded them. I never showed him affection; I only pushed him harder with each failure and turned my back on him when he needed a father the most, and he started to crumble under the pressure.

Draco was right to refuse me when I asked him forgiveness. I do not deserve it.

* * *

 

_No, you do not, but you can change that. Draco likely won't go to you willingly, but if you get the chance to corner him and have a civil conversation – do not hesitate to take it. Don't apologize for the past; he won't want to hear that and won't take it as sincere. Talk about mundane things – his plans for the future as a healer, his favorite Quidditch team, his taste in literature, your plans to help run Harry's shop – anything. Get to know him, the real Draco, not who he is in your mind and memories. Once you do that, you will be surprised how easily the rest will fall into place._

* * *

 

Draco wants to be a mediwizard. He is undecided other than that. He is considering returning to work with the Auror department, but as a support medic rather than an Auror. Like Singh was before he retired. He despises your class, by the way. He deeply respects you and the work that you do, but feels he personally has no knack for understanding how the mind works.

He doesn't care about Quidditch, but it seems to me that it is because he will eternally be resentful of the fact that he was never good enough to play professionally himself. He told me that when he was younger it was his dream to play seeker for England. Perhaps he could have if I had not belittled his interest in it, and forced him to divert his attention to academics.

Surprisingly, Draco has very little interest in the Menagerie. He finds it boring, but respects that Harry seems to want a quiet life. He does what he can to support him, but does not particularly care about the business itself.

* * *

 

_Like you, Draco is probably not content with an 'ordinary' sort of job. Some people find comfort in routine and mundane work. Others, like you and Draco, find that deathly boring. Which makes me wonder why you took a desk job at the Ministry for so many years. Regardless, I am glad you have made some progress. I think you should consider having a few sessions together. I will try to talk him into it._


	7. A Day in the Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really part of the main story of the Redemption series, but meant to take place about five years after Reaper's Folly will eventually end. There aren't any spoilers for my work in here; I wrote this for a pet profile on Subeta that's based on my version of Draco. :3

“I have no idea what I was thinking when I let Hermione convince me to become a healer,” Draco complained. “It has to be the worst job there is.”

Harry shook his head and  looked at him over the top of the  _ Daily Prophet _ that he was reading. “It can't be  _ that _ horrible.”

It was early morning. Draco had just gotten off an overnight shift of running the spell damage ward at St. Mungo's nearly single-handed. It had been one of those days, or nights rather, when just about everything that could go wrong did. Of course it was; fate always seemed to enjoy tormenting Draco whenever it had the opportunity. Either that, or his staff took great pleasure from his pain when it came to admitting that he did not, in fact, know everything. He suspected it was a bit of both – particularly the latter. He knew he wasn't an easy person to work for, but he had to be strict with them. The slightest mistake could be fatal in their line of work, after all.

“Well, tonight was pretty terrible,” Draco explained as he poured himself a cup of tea. “I wasn't there half an hour when I had an elderly patient die on me – massive heart attack. You guess is as good as mine as to why they brought him to spell damage. Emergency must have been full. Then there was a bloke with dragonpox that licked one of the nurses legs. He tried to pretend he was delirious. There's a sexual harassment case pending, and I get to deal with the paperwork. And, to top it all off, a kid vomited on my new shoes.”

Harry laughed and laid the _Daily Prophet_ down on the kitchen table. “Is that all? You've had worse days.”

“It was just very busy, a lot of stupid people hurting themselves doing stupid things. Sometimes I feel like I am actually causing damage to the human race by saving these bloody morons,” Draco drawled and rolled his eyes.

“I can't believe it's taken me all these years to notice it, but it's kind of adorable how you complain the most about the things you care about. Your job, The Weasleys, your parents – you get it,” Harry explained with a dumb smile on his face. “You don't pay any mind to things that don't matter to you.”

“I don't complain about you,” Draco told him. “So your argument is invalid.”

“Oh? So that's not why you almost always pick out my clothes, whinge about my cooking, and incessantly tell me that my hair looks like a doxy nest?” Harry countered with a smirk.

“Shut up, _Potter._ ”

“Get some sleep, _Malfoy._ ”

Draco sighed dramatically and flicked a half-eaten tea biscuit at Harry. “You're lucky I love you,  speccy git.”


End file.
